His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
