Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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