lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
