She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
