I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
