I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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