LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
