last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
