While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize