yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
