Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
