she kept yelling 'call me bella'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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