Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
