I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
