You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you still have your period?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize