We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
