and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
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I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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