Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
