Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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