just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
