There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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