sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
