Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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