I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
