Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
