My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Im part way to drunk.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
