he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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