Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
