Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
