Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
