It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
be right there i have to get my cape
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
