Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
