i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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