Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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