Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
