coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize