he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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