found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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