She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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