If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
