If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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