Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
