Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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