dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize