And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
