I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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