I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
