I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
