How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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