I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
