I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
