drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
