I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
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This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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