it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
