they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
