I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
