Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
