chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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