He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
