yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
