Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
