So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
