i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize