Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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