Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
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Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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