your parents love me but you hate me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
