the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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