It's Friday. Sex?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
